September 17, 2011

Last Friday Night...

Honestly, I just woke up about ten minutes ago. Why did I wake up 10 minutes ago you ask? Well, I didn't go to bed until 5:00am because I was out with Erin having the oddest night.

Last night Erin and I decided to go out to the local bars since I was free and she didn't have any other plans for the evening. We started off at the bar having ladies night, had a few drink and got bored with the place -- We didn't know anyone in the bar and the DJ was playing terrible music (i.e. -- "Butterfly" by Crazy Town). We decided to leave and check out what was going on at the other bars. As we were walking past another one of our normal haunts we saw one of Erin's friends and she beckoned us into the bar for a drink and we ended up staying at the bar until after it closed.

While in this bar we met a married 40-year-old U.S. Border Patrol agent who lives and works in Maine. Erin and I were both perplexed as to why Canadians would want to sneak into the United States and why there were U.S. Border Patrol agents in bumble fuck Maine. He informed us that there is a problem with Canadians that have criminal records in Canada sneaking into the United States to met up with their internet boyfriends/girlfriends. So they basically spend their time catching people who are in the U.S. for a booty call. Interesting huh?

In addition to Border Patron dude, Erin was being hit on by twin Mexican coke heads whom she yelled at in Spanish for lying to her about my whereabouts and who were "Berry berry jealous" of the dude she was actually talking to. There was also a local cop, a dude with his friend named Billy who he was trying to introduce me to, a psychic bike riding Chinese food delivery woman and a whole other cast of characters.

Randomness Of The Night:
  • Learning how awesome Twisted Tea® from the weird machine thing was.
  • Erin confusing the hell out of the Border Patron dude by speaking to him in Spanish.
  • Being told about myself by the psychic bike riding Chinese food delivery chick.
  • Getting free drinks from Border Patron dude and the bartender.
  • Being told I look like I'm 22-years-old (Yay!).
  • Erin getting eye raped by the twin Mexican coke heads.
  • Being handed random frozen drinks that I had no clue what was in it by the bartender.
  • Erin making out with the local police officer.
  • Having to hear about the psychic Chinese food chick's fucked up relationship.
  • Being told I had to sit down because I'm a woman by the twin's coke head friends.
  • Being harassed by Billy's friend who kept asking me if I thought he was cute.
It was an odd night and I couldn't make up any of what happened if I wanted to. I honestly cannot wait for our next evening out and what chaos we'll deal with then.

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