Fairies In The Library...

I know how weird this is gonna sound, but I was talking to "Marie" about fairy doors last night and I decided to search online for a good example of one when I came across a page from Urban Fairies that featured a fairy set up from the Ann Arbor District Library in Ann Arbor Michigan.

Look at these!

How amazing are they?! I want to make a mansion out of books for fairies at my library!! Obviously if I do I will very much so post about it.

Faces To The Names: "Marie"...

Meetings & Cupcake Baking...

I spent all of two hours at work today because the first half of the day I was in a meeting (Which was really boring, but "Marie" was there to keep me company) and I some how got my Department Head to agree to let me leave work early (At 3:30pm instead of 5:00pm) to bake cupcakes in ice cream cones for a program that I'm having tomorrow. So basically I got to enjoy myself a nice lazy day today because I really didn't do anything in the two hours I was actually in the library.

Seeing that today was so peaceful I'm guessing there is going to be chaos tomorrow during my Thanksgiving food craft. We'll see...

Fake Fights...

It seems that whenever "Marie" says something to "Julia" about anything (i.e. - Turning the fan off, being noisy and reading the windows she leaves open on the computer, etc.) "Julia" ended up lying to various people in the department (Mainly "Emily") about the interaction that they had. The current on being a "fight" about keeping the fan off. "Julia" claimed that she and "Marie" got into an argument about keeping that fan on, which wasn't true because I witnessed the whole thing. So obviously I told "Marie" that "Julia" had said this and she ended up confronting her about it today. "Marie" walked up to "Julia" and started inquiring about the fight that "Julia" claims that they had. "Julia" denied ever saying anything, but while she was doing so all of the blood drained from her face. In an attempt to avoid what was being said "Julia" kept repeating that she felt like something odd was going on yesterday when she walked in and that she didn't feel like she was being kept in the loop about anything blah blah blah blah... "Marie" had to say the same thing over and over again to her. Eventually she just told her that she would appreciate the she stop talking shit about her to "Emily" because they are friends. "Julia" replied with something stupid along the lines that she didn't want people talking shit about her either.

I'm so glad that "Marie" confronted "Julia" because she needed to be put in her place. She keeps making things up trying to get attention from people. Thankfully people are starting to ignore her and see her for who she truly is, a backstabbing psycho.

Getting Yelled At...

"Marie" just informed me that both she and "Julia" walked in late this morning and our Director ended up yelling at "Julia" about being 10 minutes late. But as they were walking up the stairs together "Julia" was talking about how he had yelled at the two of them. "Marie" said she responded with a snarky "I have legitimate reasons for being late..." and "Julia" didn't get she was being mean. But good, she got yelled at. She deserved it because she is a useless useless woman.

Typewriter Tantrum...

Honestly I thought that I was going to be walking into a war zone today when I got into work at 1:00pm. Tensions have been mounting between "Julia" and "Marie" as of late. The recent drama is revolving around "Julia" leaving a book on "Marie's" desk asking her to type out a new label for it and "Marie" responding by leaving a note on the book stating that she isn't her secretary and that she will not do anything for her. "Julia" went and complained to our Department Head, so I thought she was going to say something to "Marie" but she didn't thus no chaos. I seriously contemplated telling "Marie" about "Julia" complaining about her and starting a fight. I didn't do it today, but maybe I will tomorrow depending on how bored I get.

Earthquake...

I'm sure by now you all know that there was a 5.8 magnitude earthquake that shook the east coast and we sure as hell felt it here at my library. Myself, my Department Head and "Marie" were all sitting in the office when it happened, "Amy" was stuck in the elevator and "Julia" was in the staff room microwaving something. We had patrons freaking asking if they should evacuate -- I actually told someone that they'd just end up dying outside instead of inside.

All in all it was pretty interesting, especially since our Director is away on vacation and the person in charge freaked out -- She was screaming for everyone to get out. I wonder what our Director would have done if he was here.

Problem In The Public Restroom...

"Marie" just ran back into the office to let my Department Head and I know that there is an old woman half naked (from the waist down) in the public bathroom washing her underwear in the sink. This is honestly a new one, we've had men pass out drunk with their pants around their ankles but never exposed genital. Thank God that my Department Head is around because I really wouldn't have wanted to deal with this.

Mysterious New Woman...

Yesterday the replacement person for "Sarah" started, but I didn't get to meet the new woman because I didn't actually come into work until 5:00pm. Unfortunately I will only be getting a glimpse of her today because she is in 5:00pm - 9:00pm and I'll be heading out at 5:00pm sharp (Erin and I found out that one of the local bridal shops has the dress our friend is making us wear at her wedding and we wanna see how it looks, try it on, etc.) that means I'm gonna have to wait until Friday to really get to meet her and see if I like her. My Department Head likes her as of thus far and "Marie" said that she seemed to be a very nice lady. I on the other hand know if I'm going to like someone within five minutes of meeting them, so I'll be letting everyone know how I feel at 1:05pm on Friday.

We Suck...

It's Saturday and I'm stuck in the library. It's been a relatively quiet day but as of thus far "Marie" and I have had two patrons basically tell us that our library sucks.

Patron #1 came in dresses like a dominatrix asking if we had a fax machine that she could use. I said no and she starts rambling on saying things like "What kind of library doesn't have a fax machine... Blah blah blah blah blah..." I told her we have fax machines but they aren't for public use and I directed her where she could go to fax her documents. She left mumbling. "Marie" doesn't think that I should have told her where to find one and started talking shit about the way the chick was dressed.

Patron #2 comes in and ask if we have audio books for two/three-year-old. I tell her where she can find them and point her in the right direction. She comes back and starts bitching at "Marie" and I about how the majority of them are cassette tapes and how we should join the 21st century. I point out to her that I don't order them and she'd have to talk to my Department Head about that. I also inform her that when we got rid of all of our VHS tapes a bunch of patrons complained to us. She proceed to tell us that we should have everything for the children and there must be a place to store things. I looked at her and said the space you see is what we have. Then she started complaining about the way the building was set up. Eventually she asked if she could write a note to our Director. I gave her a piece of scrap paper and told her she could leave it in the suggestion box. She went to sit down and write something but walked out without putting it in the box. Oh well...

What I Taught My DH This Week...

• The definition of M.I.L.F. - An acronym for "Mother/Mom I'd Like to Fuck"
• The definition of D.I.L.F. - An acronym for "Dad I'd Like to Fuck"

I was quite surprised that she didn't know what either of these things were -- I think they are common terms. I actually made a point to ask "Marie" in front of her if she knew what a M.I.L.F. and/or a D.I.L.F. was and she knew, she was like "Oh yeah Mom/Dad I'd like to..." Honestly, I don't know about my Department Head sometimes. I'm glad I'm around to teach her various facts and pop culture.

While You Were Gone...

Apparently interesting things still occur even when I'm not in the library -- Who would have thunk. While I was on vacation last week "Marie" and "Julia" had it out over ceiling fans ("Marie" ended up blowing up on "Julia" after she got snippy with her for turning the fan off), a man came into the department with his child wearing only a Speedo® (There is obviously more than one problem with this, but the main one was that he had a huge package and you could see everything. They had to call the Director down. It wasn't pretty I heard) and they interviewed replacements for that evil bitch "Sarah's" job (I wish I would have been around for it because I know within 5 minutes of meeting a person if I'll get along with them or not. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens). I honestly wish I was around when all of these things happened, but I still enjoyed my vacation and Miami still beats the library.

Aside from all of the above, I was told that the department was extremely quiet without me around -- This was half due to the fact that people weren't talking to one another and half because my awesomely obnoxious self wasn't around. My Department Head was telling me that it was deathly boring with out me around. I guess they need me around for there to be some life in this department.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes...

For the past week (while our Department Head has been on vacation) "Julia" has taken the liberty of changing around her schedule without asking. Today our Department Head returns from vacation, so I'm hoping the shit hits the fan and "Julia" gets in a shit storm of trouble when she comes into work tomorrow.

Schedule Changes She Made

• June 28th - She admitted to sleeping in to "Marie" thus she came in late and she decided it was okay (Without consulting our Director*) to stay at work an extra half an hour to make up the time.

Actual Hours: 9:00am-5:00pm
Hours Worked: 9:30am-5:30pm

• June 30th - She changed her hours, thus causing a lack of coverage in the afternoon.

Actual Hours: 10:00am-6:00pm
Hours Worked: 9:30am-5:30pm

• July 5th - I've yet to check her time card, but she stayed an extra half an hour

Actual Hours: 9:00am-5:00pm
Hours Worked: ?am-5:30pm

• July 6th/July 8th - Changed her day off from Friday to Wednesday without consulting the rest of the of the staff. Which if she did she would know that the likelihood anyone actually being in the library at 9:00am could be slim to none -- I changed my schedule so that I could cover the desk this fine morning.

Actual Hours: Wednesday 9:00am-5:00pm / Friday Off
Hours Worked: Wednesday Off / Friday 9:o0am-5:00pm

* It is a rule at our library that if one comes in late for whatever reason that they cannot make up the time unless given permission by the Director. And he almost always says no and makes the person in question use their own time (Annual leave, sick, etc) to cover the missing hours.

Library Gossip...

Apparently there is a rumor going around that I'm so mean that "Sarah" quit because of me. I mean I personally wish this was the case but it isn't and the person who heard this set whomever said it straight -- The person who told me about this won't say who was talking shit about me.

So the World knows, "Sarah" quit because she and her unemployed boyfriend are moving to Florida. It's this really odd situation, but we can't wait to be rid of her so we kinda don't care. "Marie" wants us to have a party the day after she leaves because she hates her more than I do. I look forward to it.

Cramps? Really?!...

I was informed by both "Amy" and "Marie" that "Julia" has somehow gotten away with getting out of doing various work related tasks because she claims she is having extreme menstrual cramps once a month. Really?!?!!! That is a load of bull shit, especially seeing as the entire department is comprised of females.

I'm assuming my rage over this and a bit of confidentiality kept my Department Head from telling me this when she begged me to cover a school visit for "Julia" about a week ago. Because I'm pretty sure she knows if she told me I would have went crazy and cursed up a storm.

I honestly cannot wait for "Julia" to mention so I can tell her off. I think it is the biggest load of crap ever. I'll let you know how things go next month.

"Marie" To Rescue...

When "Marie" found out about "Julia" confronting me about not ordering her lunch she was pissed. She went up to "Julia" and told her flat out that she had no right to come up to me like she did and that if she was mad she should have been mad at all three of us because no one thought of her. After getting put in her place she apologized to me for being bitch. It was glorious and I love "Marie" so much.

Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind...

Okay, I'm pissed. It's raining out so I suggest to "Amy" and "Marie" that we order in food. They agreed that we should and I ordered what everyone wanted. This was all agreed upon while "Julia" was on her break, so I wasn't thinking about her -- Out of sight, out of mind. Five minutes ago "Julia" walks up to me after I ask everyone how much change they want back and she starts telling me I hurt her feelings blah blah blah... I don't know what she expected of me because I flat out told her that if she wanted something when "Amy" mentioned it to her she should have said something and that I had placed the order over an hour ago. She retorted with how could she have known I had placed the order blah blah blah... I just looked at her and told her I am never asking anyone to order anything ever again because I don't wanna listen to her complain about stupid crap. I really hate her.

Talking Ish...

I totally forgot to post this when it happened, but on Wednesday morning "Marie" and I were talking crap about various people and she said to me that we needed to figure out a way to get "Sarah" to quit because she cannot stand her. I love "Marie" so much.

Outbreak Child...

We had a mother come in today with an eight-year-old with a stomach virus. She wanted to leave him in the computer rooms playing games while she took her toddler into one of our programs. When "Amy" found out that the child was sick she told the mother politely that we urge parents not to bring their sick children into the library because we don't want to infect a room full of children and adults. The mother was so angered by this statement that she started arguing with "Amy" and "Marie" about it. Flustered "Amy" called the Director, who told her there was nothing she could do about the mother's lack of common sense or courtesy. The mother heard her on the phone and got extra pissy with them. She started demanding that they help her child if he asked for help while she went into the program with her other child, blah blah blah... And that she couldn't believe "Amy" tattled on her.

I was away when this all happened, but when I came back into the room "Amy" told me all about it. I proceeded to call our Director and told him that I refuse to help her child because I am not going near anyone with a stomach virus. I told him that if he made me go near the child and I was to get sick that I would be a pain in his ass about it for the next three months. He sighed and said fine. Once I was off the phone with him "Amy" told me how awesomely ballsy I am and that she wishes she could be like me.

After the program the mother came and got her son, asking him if we had helped him or whatever and then she left. After she walked out I went into the room and sprayed it down with disinfectan.

I don't understand why parents think it's okay for their children, that they obviously didn't think were well enough to go to school to come into the library to hang out on the computers. If you didn't want them to go to school they should stay at home in bed. They shouldn't be in the library contaminating the air like little outbreak monkeys. Especially on a day were their are tons of toddlers around for programs. These parents are so inconsiderate.

Access & Request Denied...

I somehow managed to avoid an angry patron today -- Yay for me, even though I would have liked to watch. Apparently "Amy" and "Marie" both had separate encounters with a lady complaining about various aspects of our library in regards to her special needs grandchild.

"Amy" got reamed out by the woman for denying her and her grandchild entry to a program because it was filled to capacity by families that had registered. The woman was apparently acting as if her grandchild was being denied because of being special needs, which is obviously untrue.

After dealing with the woman "Amy" was extremely paranoid about her going to the Director and getting her in trouble. I had to keep assuring her that she did nothing wrong and that the woman was just being a bitch.

Once the woman was done with "Amy" she went into the Youth Services Department and began to complain to "Marie" about one of the foam climbing toys that we have in out picture book room. She claimed that it was being uses inappropriately and wanted it removed because she didn't want her grandchild playing on in. "Marie" denied her request and told her that if she had a problem with the toy she would have to speak to the Department Head about it, which the woman didn't do because she stormed out after no one bent to her will.

I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with this woman.