Preschool Yoga & Wary Grandparents...

Here's something I haven't had for you in a while, a work story...

So yesterday I was sitting at the reference desk after one of our bigger programs ended and one of the regular grandmothers walks up to me. She starts asking me about various age appropriate programs that she and her husband (Who looks like the grandfather from Jurassic Park, so much so that I refer to him as John in the office) could bring their granddaughter to. I start rattling off programs and the last one I mentioned was yoga for preschoolers. Once the word "yoga" left my mouth she made a face and said that they were wary of yoga because of "All of the Middle Eastern stuff and that they are good Christians..."

As taken aback as I was, I just looked at her and said that since the class was targeted towards preschoolers that I was pretty sure that there was no actual "Middle Eastern stuff" and it was more like little kids in a circle on yoga mats stretching. I assured her that I'd check for her, so right now I'm waiting for the yoga class to end so I can tell the yoga instructor about the ridiculousness of the grandmother from yesterday, as well as report back to our good Christian grandparents.

Funny Little Boys, Slappy The Dummy & A Retweet From R.L. Stine...

The other day at work I had the funniest little boy come in. He walked up to the reference desk and asked me if I knew where the Goosebumps books were because he wanted a book about Slappy the Dummy. I proceed to bring him over to the R.L. Stine books and pull out all of the books about Slappy.

As I show him each title out he goes "Nope... That's not it..." We go through every title there about Slappy and none of the books I showed him as the book he is looking for. So I have him follow me back to the reference desk so I can hop on Amazon to see if we can find the book he is looking for together. After a couple of minutes he points at the screen and goes "That's it! That's the one I want..."

I look at him and look at the title, then I laugh. I proceeded to tell him that it was the first book I showed him when we walked over to the collection of Goosebumps books. So I asked if he wanted to go back over and get the copy we had of Night of the Living Dummyand he says no. I ask him why and he starts telling me that he wants the one on the screen because the cover of the one we have at the library freaks him out.

I look at him and then his grandfather and explain that it's the same exact story, it just was re-released and has a new cover. But no, the cover on the copy that we had freaked him out so he didn't want it. I offered to put a piece of paper over the cover so he didn't have to look at it but he said no.

I told him since we already owned the book that I couldn't buy the one with the cover he wanted and he was out of luck. He said okay and thanked me for looking.

I just thought the whole thing was just too funny so I tweeted it and added R.L. Stine Twitter handle (@RL_Stine) to my tweet and he retweeted it! He was one of my favorite authors as a child, so my inner nine-year-old was super excited.

The whole thing was funny and neat, and it made my day. So It thought I'd share it with all of you.

Fear Of Elevators | Weird Library Patrons...

Surprisingly for some time now we haven't had an exceptionally noteworthy happenings with patrons, which is a good thing from a work standpoint but bad thing when you're a librarian-blogger who likes to share wonky work related stories on your blog. But the other day we had a little incident, if you could call it that, that I thought I should share because it was a little weird and something that none of us have ever dealt with before.

A patron walked up to the reference desk (I happened to be in our office, which is directly behind the reference desk, at my own desk doing something) and I hear her ask Nicole if she would be able to take her stroller downstairs for her. She proceeds to explain to Nicole, which I could not hear, that she is afraid of elevators and she didn't have anyone with her that could take her stroller down for her.

So Nicole walks into the office and asks me if she could bring the stroller downstairs for her. After a bit of confusion, because I thought she literally wanted Nicole to carry her stroller down the stairs for her, I tell Nicole (Even though I am really confused by the situation) she can ride in the elevator with the lady's stroller. 

Two minutes later Nicole comes back up and I ask her what the hell was that all about. She explains to me the part of the conversation she had with the lady that I didn't hear and noted that she knew her from one of her other jobs, which is the reason she rode down the elevator for her.

Still, even after hearing the explanation my Department Head (Who has never in her almost thirty as a librarian, had anyone ask her to do that before) and I were still confused. Why would you bring a stroller with you if you're afraid elevators? Why wouldn't you leave it downstairs or in your car? Why wouldn't you have like a BabyBjorn or some other baby carrying contraption?

So yeah, that happened the other day and we were/still are perplexed by the whole thing.

Counting Your Age In Months...

Because everything is very archaic at my library we still make people come in person and/or call in to register for our programs (God forbid we get an online registration program). So yesterday we started a new batch of sign ups and because it was registration day the phone was ringing off the hook with mothers who wanted to sign their children up for various programs. And when we sign children up for our programs there are three things we want to know...

1. Child's Full Name
2. Child's Age
3. Phone Number

This is so we can make sure you're putting your child in a program that is appropriate for their age range and so we can call if we want to remind people about said program(s) or cancel it for whatever reason. Basic library practices.

So yesterday I'm fielding tons of calls, going through my name-age-number spiel with the mommies and then I get a phone call that wasn't from a rude patron or anything but made my head explode.

I get a mother on the phone who wants to sign her child up for whatever and I bust out the appropriate sheet to write the information on. Ask the name, she tells me, I write it down. Ask the phone number, she rattles it off, I write it down. Ask the age, she said thirty-one months and I just stutter "Um, thirty-one months..." and she replies "Yup, thirty-one months..." I say okay, ask her if she wants to register for anything else, she says no, I tell her to have a nice day and hang up.

WHO SAYS THEIR CHILD IS THIRTY-ONE MONTHS OLD?!!?!!!!!

That child is over two and a half years old, why the hell do you need to refer to it's age in months?!? I don't understand. If I started telling people that I'm three hundred and sixty-four months old they would look at me like I was crazy.

I know this is such a stupid thing to be annoyed with but I think once your child is past eleven months, that they are a year and X months. Why refer to them in months? Who started this month thing? Am I overreacting? Does anyone else think it's ridiculous?

Sorry. I needed to rant about this. I'll end my rant here.

Pretentious Patrons & Socioeconomically Based Baby Names...

I just overheard the most pretentious patron talking about how she and her husband chose their kids' names based off of some socioeconomic baby name list. She literately said "Well, his first name is a common upper middle class name but unfortunately his middle name is a common lower class name. We used it because it's my husband's father's name..." and then proceeded to explain to the person she was talking to that her husband wanted to name their daughter Lily but then she thought, what if she wants to be a lawyer... So they gave her a completely different name.

After the patron said that I had to walk into the office and sit at my desk because I couldn't stand listening to her ridiculousness any longer. I mean really, is this socioeconomically base baby names list thing a thing? Do other people in the world care that much about a name? Please if someone knows anything about this I'd love to hear what you have to say on the subject. 

But yeah, I swear in the almost eleven years of overhearing patron conversations I have never heard anything like this one, and I've overheard some weird and douchy things.

Fire & False Alarms...

So today has been a fun day at the library. About an hour and a half ago I was in the middle of troubleshooting my Department Head's laptop and iPhone in our office when the fire alarm starts going off. My Department Head, "Favorite Page #3" and I get everyone out of the Youth Services Department relatively quickly and then proceed to check the surrounding areas. Unfortunately there was a program going on in the auditorium and the old patrons who were attending it refused to get out. My Department Head had to get on the microphone and tell everyone they needed to evacuate, which kinda sorta helped but not really -- We ended up spent twenty to thirty minutes trying to get them all off the second floor and outside of the building.

Once outside the building we just stood around, answering questions to the best of our ability and waited for the fire department to show up (Which was odd because the fire department is literately around the corner from the building). Eventually they showed up (Later on we found out that they never got the call from our alarm system and someone actually ended up calling it in), checked the building and told us nothing was wrong. Apparently the alarm that set the whole thing off was the one in the public mens restroom, which was odd because I had gone in there while we were trying to get people out of the building and didn't smell any kind of smoke in there. So now we are back in the building wondering what happened.

What I've learned from all of this is that if that was a real fire we would have died because of all of those old people. And I swear if I ever smell smoke in this building I'm running away and not helping anyone.

Teenagers With Bad Attitudes & Greasy Food...

Okay, so on Thursday when I wrote that post about internal library drama and possibly going back to school I was all by myself at work. "Julia" and "Amy" both called in sick, my Department Head and "Emily" were both off, "Lori" wasn't scheduled to work until 2:00pm and "Marie" wasn't due in until 6:00pm. So I was literately alone working the reference desk from 9:00am until 2:00pm. And to be honest with you, it was slightly annoying but I was okay with it because I kind of like to be left alone -- It's way better than being stuck working with only "Julia" for hours. So that's how that day started, like I said it was annoying but I was okay with it.
"Lori" comes in and we are doing fine. We have a bunch of patrons in the department but everything was cool. Around 5:00pm, right before I was about to leave for the day and head out to have dinner with Erin, I get a patron who claimed they returned a book and it wasn't checked in properly. It happened to be true and we found the book but the patron couldn't get her child away from our iPads. So I said to the little girl "I promise if you go with mommy that the iPad will be waiting for you when you get back..." This get the little girl up and out the door with her mom. I decided to wait the few minutes for them to come back and that is when chaos started.

"Mama Page" walks over to "Lori" and I to let us know that there are three teenage boys sitting on our outside computers eating greasy food -- Fried chicken and French fries to be exact. So we both walk over, give them the "You know you can't eat next to the computers, you didn't even sign up..." speech. To which we got a major attitude.

We ask them if they have library cards if they want to be on the computer, they got snarky and asked what those were. One of them (Who I've known for years and is a little son of a bitch) decides to say that he has his school id, so he walks over to the reference desk and throws it down. I refuse to pick it up and just kept repeating "Hi! May I please us the computer?" After the fifth or sixth time of me repeating that he says "Can't I just use the computer?!?!?!!!" in the nastiest tone. I just repeated "Hi! May I please us the computer?" Eventually he says it to the desk. I ask him to repeat that while making eye contact with me, and he does. I said "Yes you may use the computer..." he tries to snatch his id and I pick it up before him and fished with "If you're name is in my permission book..." I check to book, his name is not in it. So I grabbed a permission form and handed it to him with his id and told him that he can have his parent fill out the form and once he returns it he can use his id to get on to the computer. He immediately crumples it up and throws it out but then picks it back up and rips it up in front of "Lori's" face. He follows this up by grabbing his friends and leaving but not before seeing our suggestion box and writing a note of "Be nicer" which I pulled out of the box as he was walking away and said "I'll be nicer when you decide not to be rude to me..." They start mumbling curses and walk out.

I thought I was all done with it and am about to leave for the day when the intercom buzzes and one of the adult librarians is on the line informing me about three teenage boys that would like to do their homework. I tell the adult librarian what happened, so she denied them computer access. This apparently pissed them off and they start causing a scene downstairs. Our custodian was screaming at them and he ended up calling the cops. It was a big cluster.

While I was waiting for the cops to come to explain how it all happened (Not that I wanted to because I was already late for a dinner date I was supposed to have with Erin) I found out that the boys had snuck up to the third floor which is staff only and threw French fries all over the place, etc.

Eventually a cop came and since the boys were gone there was nothing the officer could do about it. So I wasted my time waiting for the office to show up and once he walked out of the library I followed and met up with Erin for dinner.

It was just so ridiculous. I'm wondering if the boys will go home, especially the one that threw his card down at me, and tell their parents. I hope I wont have to deal with this incident again but the one kid's parents are a piece of work too, so I'll just have to wait and see. If anything else happens, you know I'll update about it.

Apparently My Hair Is Awesome...

The other day two little girls at the library made me this (Because my hair is currently purple)...

How cute is this?! The library kiddies can be so sweet sometimes.

Call The Police...

Oh boy, I just had a frantic patron come up to me at the Youth Services Reference Desk asking me to call the police because she was just threatened by another patron downstairs in the Adult section of the library.

Apparently this lady was downstairs in the library's quiet study area and there was a person talking loudly on his phone, so she went to Adult Reference to complain because he was being rude to elderly patrons when they asked him to quiet down. Whoever was at Adult Reference didn't do anything about it and when she came back into the quiet study area the man proceeded to curse her out, calling her a snitch, threatening to shoot her, etc.

So she said she picked up her stuff and went back to Adult Reference extremely upset and she claims that again, whoever was down there was no real help but they made the man leave. As he did he threatened to have her jumped and killed.

Frustrated and scare she came up to Youth Services and asked me to call the police. I called our Director down and proceeded to call the police for her.

Our Director talked to her then went and checked to see if a man by the description given was anywhere near the building. He wasn't, so our Director talked the woman into going downstairs with him and waiting for the police officer to arrive.

After that I don't know what happened but I hope I don't have to deal with a psycho trying to shoot up the library.

I Need To Stay Away From The Public Restroom...

As you're all very much so aware of I work in a public building and with public buildings come public restrooms and for some reason this past week I've had odd things happen as I've walked past or walked into our public restroom -- I know, I know... I just shouldn't use the public restroom but it's closer than the staff restroom which is on a totally different floor.

Incident No. 1: When I was walking past the hallway where the restrooms are I see one of our normal (badish) teens outside the women's room talking with our security guard and the dude that works on our newsletter/website. Stupidly I asked what was wrong and then I had to listen to the teen tell me that the homeless woman (Who I know isn't actually homeless, just a bit off her rocker) was in the bathroom and she didn't want to go in there because she was in there and that she smelled, blah blah blah... Then the teen starts begging me to check to bathroom because she had to pee. I walked into the restroom, which was empty and tell her that there is no one in there anymore and that the automatic air freshener must had sprayed because it didn't smell bad in there. She was still antsy and didn't want to be in the bathroom by herself if the homeless lady came back in, so she begged me to stand watch outside the bathroom door until she was done.

Incident No. 2: I go into the restroom to wash my hands a different day and inside there is a lady who looked like she was in her mid forties. She says "Excuse me... You look like you're about my age, can I ask you a question?" Even though I was offended that she basically said I look like a forty-something when I'm really a twenty-something I said sure. She starts asking me about if you live and work in one place but have nothing there but failed relationship and you have family in another place but no job and would have to live with a family member for a while as you get back on your feet, where would you go and what would you do (If this sounds confusing, good because that's what whatever she said to me sounded like). I basically said if you're not attached then go for the new life. She asked me to explain, then she told me her whole life story, etc. By the end of everything (Which went on forever) she looks at me and goes, I guess you're actually a little bit younger than me and don't know exactly what I was talking about but thank you. I looked at her and just told her good luck with whatever she decides.

So yeah, I need to stop going into/near the public restroom.

Update On Being Open To The Public...

As I mentioned on Wednesday the library is now open to the public after being closed for almost five months and it's actually gone better than I thought it would as of thus far (I'm a wait for the bottom to drop out kinda person).

People have been so incredibly nice and they are just so happy we're back up and running -- It's kinda like they didn't know what they had until it was gone type of thing. I hope the novelty of the library being open doesn't fade quickly and they continue to be wonderful, but we'll have to wait and see.

Friday's Letters...

Dear Left Index Finger: It has been over a week since my stitches have been taken out, think you could heal a bit quicker so I am able to bend you properly again? I can't stand not being able to hold on to things because you won't bend. Thanks!

This is as far as I can bend my finger currently

Dear Friends: I'm thinking about having a paintball party for my birthday, would you come if I had one?

Dear Stores That Sell Plus Size Clothing: Why don't any of you have a sexy little black dress with some sort of sleeve to cover my fat arms? I can't be the only fat chick that wants to look hot and cover my arms at the same time. Can you please talk to the designers you buy from and work on that? Thanks.

Dear Arm Fat: Please go away. That is all.

Dear People Working On The Library: Can you please get the building open ASAP? I really miss dealing with patrons and their randomness.

Dear "Julia": Can you please stop informing us that you need a "Java Jolt" every time you decide you want a cup of coffee? We don't care. Especially since you still fall asleep at your desk after having said jolt.

Dear Readers: Would it be gross if I posted pictures of the doctor stitching up my finger? Lemme know!

Join up with the Friday Letters link-up over at The Sweet Season.

Patrons, Programs & Problems...

Yesterday I had a craft program at work that only had seven children signed up for ahead of time. Because of a lack of attendance in all of our other craft programs in the past I only had a few extra crafts prepared thinking that no one was going to show up. Oh boy was I wrong.

Tons of mothers and their children showed up trying to get into the program, and their attitudes were in tow. Every mother that tried to get in was a complete bitch to me and when I did let the people on the waiting list in they caused problems.

I cannot tell you how frustrated I was. Because of all of these people I didn't get to do the program the way I would have liked to and I'm a craft perfectionist. I typically make sure everyone has what they need, I walk around to see who needs help and tell the kids what an awesome job they are doing, etc.

I was annoyed beyond belief by the time I cleaned everything up and was back in the office. It totally sucks having a four-year-old look at you all pouty asking which one is hers because her mother sucks and doesn't understand the concept of signing up ahead of time so we know how much to buy and how many people to set up for. Ugh!

Friday's Letters...

Dear Thai Food: Why did I not know how amazing you were until last weekend?! I hope to have a life long relationship with you from now on.

Dear Mary Sanderson: Can you please tell me why you chose to have such a difficult hair style? It was a pain trying to make my hair look kinda like yours. It was amazing when it was done, but difficult to get.

Dear Patrons From Yesterdays Craft Program: You suck. That is all.

Dear Nicole: Why must you always plan events on Sundays when I have to work. I want the world to know that I love you enough to switch Sundays and spend four hours alone with "Julia" instead of the person I was supposed to work with in order to come out for you! That is love baby because I hate that woman.

Dear Hurricane Sandy: If you're gonna hit Long Island please do so after Saturday and before Wednesday because I have plans for those days and I don't need you messing them up.

Dear Justin: Thank you for surprising me at work with cold brew coffee made the way I like it!

Dear Local Bar: Thank you for having a Halloween event for tomorrow night!

Dear Followers: I want you all to know how much I appreciate all of you and how happy I am to have you around!

How Did You Find That Book?!!?!...

I had to deal with the nastiest patron five minutes before closing the other day. This woman walks in literately five seconds after the five minute warning on the intercom asking where our easy readers are. I point her to the section and ask her what she is looking for. She barks at me that she is looking for a book with the call number ER OCO. I ask her what title she is looking for and she barks back The Teeny Tiny Woman (The one she saw was by Jane O'Connor). I go check the catalog to see if the book is really there and head over to the shelf she is at. I start looking and she gets pissy with me saying she already looked. I tell her the same thing I tell everyone else, sometimes you need another set of eyes because you don't always find it the first time. I continue to look and I don't find what she is looking for, I tell her that I don't see it either and she storms to our holiday section telling me it's probably there and tells me to go check for her. I look at her and told her I had already checked the computer and that the book should be where we were looking not in the holiday section. She doesn't want to hear what I have to say and she heads over there anyways.

Instead of letting her leave with nothing I go back to the catalog, find a copy of the book by another author from nonfiction and hand it to her. You think she'd be happy at this point, but no... She starts questioning where I got that book from and how I found it. I was so pissed I just looked at her and said "I'm a librarian. That is how I found it..." She just walked away.

I cannot tell you how much she pissed me off. I was in the office yelling about how I paid an arm and a leg to go to library school and that is how I found her book (There was a lot of expletives strung in with that). The response I get from "Mama Page" on what happened what that I shouldn't have given her the book and let her walk out empty handed. I should have but I'm too nice sometimes. Why do I have to deal with this crap?!

Shushing The Librarian...

So yesterday I was helping a group of patrons that were together find a bunch of books and after I had found them I stood in the picture book room talking to them because one of them was telling me how nice and helpful I was. After a while I start telling them about some of our programs and my story times being friendly and nice when an old man reading to I'd say an 8-year-old boy told me to be quiet.

I got shushed! I cannot believe that this guy shushed me! It wasn't like I was talking in a quiet area (To be honest there is not quiet areas in our Youth Services Department), I was in the picture book room where toddlers and babies scream! As much as I wanted to say something snarky I didn't. I told the other patrons to have a nice day and walked into the office all annoyed (To be honest I'm still annoyed thinking about it). I can't believe that I got shushed!

Pretending To Be A Librarian...

Right before I went to do storytime this afternoon, one of the mothers of a child that attends came up to me and told me that her 4-year-old daughter pretends to be me when she goes home. Her mother was telling me that she tells everyone to sit on their mats, holds picture books like I do, pretends to read, asks them about the stories and says "Isn't that silly!" (I say that a lot to the kids). It was so cute. Who would have thought someone would want to pretend to be me?!

Mini Rant: Bringing You Kid On A Date With You...

I'm sitting at the Reference Desk and I hear this new (weird) mother that has been coming in as of late talking to one of the nannies that comes in all the time and she is telling her that she brings her toddler on all of her dates with her. How odd it that? Why would you bring your small child on dates with you? Why would you want to expose your child to random men? This just seems so weird to me! What do you guys think?

UPDATE - 6:30pm
The originial nanny left and a new one came in and she started talking to that one. "I'm single... I think I should just keep talking to men until I find one that accepts me..." The new lady wasn't even talking about dating with her. So weird.

Life At The Library...

Some of you might be wondering why I haven't written anything about work lately, well it's simply because life has been extremely boring at work and nothing particularly exciting has happened. We haven't had any blog post worthy issues with patrons and "Julia" hasn't done anything really really stupid lately.

Here are some little incidents and random things that have happened...

♦ "Julia" is convinced that the legal drinking age is eighteen-years-old. I wasn't around for the incident but apparently she was talking to "Mini Page" and "Amy" about something where the legal drinking age came up and she kept trying to tell them it was eighteen and it used to be twenty-one when she was younger. "Mini Page" and "Amy" both told her it was twenty-one but she didn't believe them, even after they pulled it up on a website.

Um, the legal drinking age in New York hasn't been eighteen since before the National Minimum Drinking Age Act was passed on July, 17th 1984. And seeing as "Julia" is the same age my mother she was twenty-four in 1984 making her legal either way. So I don't know where she got any of her statement from. She is just bizarre.

♦ The other day we almost had a fight between two mother because one was telling the other how to take care of her child and the one being criticized wasn't taking it well.

♦ We got a new Assistant Director.

Nothing else has really happened. Boring, I know.

Back To School...

Okay, lets talk about how today was the first day of the school year and how all of the bad kids magically came back to the library today. After having a relatively problem free summer a good chunk of our trouble makers are back this fine afternoon. I would like to think it's just a coincidence and that this trend won't continue but unfortunately it will. I predict that our security guard will be working hard for his money shortly. We'll have to see what happens. I'll keep you all up-to-date on the possible chaos in the library.